I couldn’t believe I had heard her correctly, especially as I had just bared my heart to the husbands and wives of the church small group we had recently joined.
I had told them I was finding it hard to settle into our relocation with my husband’s job, three thousand miles away from home.
Tears welled up in my eyes. I felt miserable before I spoke; now I felt even worse. I wanted the floor to open up and swallow me. Most of all, I wanted to go home.
Then anger rose inside of me; I pushed it down. Anyway, no one seemed to notice my distress. The conversation continued as if nothing had happened. But I sat hating myself and loathing her for being so confident and not understanding how I felt.
Why couldn’t I embrace my new situation? I wondered.
Why did it take so much effort to explore unfamiliar surroundings? Why couldn’t I pluck up the courage to take my two-month-old baby to the playground and make new friends?
Now, I realize a seismic shift had occurred in my life, and I didn’t have anything to hold onto to keep me secure.
I was no longer the career girl choosing my clothes carefully each morning; power dressing for executive meetings at the BBC. Instead, I struggled to find anything that fit and would allow for a breast-feeding infant.
No longer did I hop on and off the Tube in London. If I found my way to the post office with the stroller, I considered it to be a major achievement of my day.
When things change in our lives, even when they are ones we have control over—after all, I had been a part of the decision-making to leave all we knew and start a life somewhere else—they can still be stressful and overwhelming.
There are a number of things I have learned since that disastrous small group some years ago.
Change brings discomfort.
Moving from the familiar to the unfamiliar is difficult. Often we have stepped, or been thrown, way outside our comfort zone. We need to recognize it’s going to take some time for the uncomfortable to become comfortable.
Take time to mourn.
Mourning is not just about a death. We grieve when those we love and enjoy being with leave and we won’t see them for a while, or even the little things—like when a supermarket’s shelves are not stocked with the items we’re used to buying.
Look after yourself.
Sometimes, the transition is so traumatic we need professional help. Counseling can help speed up our recovery and get us back on our feet again.
But most of all, we need someone to make us feel secure. Sure, I had my husband, but I needed someone I could lean into completely.
God hadn’t been part of my life for a long time, but when I turned to him in desperation, he responded to my cry for help.
God provides a firm foundation so we don’t lose our footing when the ground shifts.
Hebrews 11:1-2 (MSG) says: “The fundamental fact of existence is that this trust in God, this faith, is the firm foundation under everything that makes life worth living. It’s our handle on what we can’t see.”
Of course, I did meet neighbors and make friends in the playground who were just like me, thousands of miles away from everything they knew. And I did discover new foods and find the British products I love. It didn’t happen overnight. Instead, it took time.
But, most of all, I renewed my faith in God.
When our world is shaky or shifting around us, we need to stand on solid rock. It’s never too late to turn to God and make him your firm friend.
Make the words of Psalm 31:2 your prayer: “Turn your ear to me, come quickly to my rescue; be my rock of refuge, a strong fortress to save me.”
Rachel Britton is a British-born writer and speaker passionate about helping women know their true worth so they can live boldly. Raised on the east coast of England, she now lives in Massachusetts with her husband and three children. Rachel cannot live without English tea and chocolate. Connect with Rachel at www.rachelbritton.com, on Facebook and Twitter @racheljbritton.
Today we are once again linking up with Holley Gerth and Jennifer Dukes Lee.
Tears welled up in my eyes. I felt miserable before I spoke; now I felt even worse. I wanted the floor to open up and swallow me. Most of all, I wanted to go home.
Then anger rose inside of me; I pushed it down. Anyway, no one seemed to notice my distress. The conversation continued as if nothing had happened. But I sat hating myself and loathing her for being so confident and not understanding how I felt.
Why couldn’t I embrace my new situation? I wondered.
Why did it take so much effort to explore unfamiliar surroundings? Why couldn’t I pluck up the courage to take my two-month-old baby to the playground and make new friends?
Now, I realize a seismic shift had occurred in my life, and I didn’t have anything to hold onto to keep me secure.
I was no longer the career girl choosing my clothes carefully each morning; power dressing for executive meetings at the BBC. Instead, I struggled to find anything that fit and would allow for a breast-feeding infant.
No longer did I hop on and off the Tube in London. If I found my way to the post office with the stroller, I considered it to be a major achievement of my day.
When things change in our lives, even when they are ones we have control over—after all, I had been a part of the decision-making to leave all we knew and start a life somewhere else—they can still be stressful and overwhelming.
There are a number of things I have learned since that disastrous small group some years ago.
Change brings discomfort.
Moving from the familiar to the unfamiliar is difficult. Often we have stepped, or been thrown, way outside our comfort zone. We need to recognize it’s going to take some time for the uncomfortable to become comfortable.
Take time to mourn.
Mourning is not just about a death. We grieve when those we love and enjoy being with leave and we won’t see them for a while, or even the little things—like when a supermarket’s shelves are not stocked with the items we’re used to buying.
Look after yourself.
Sometimes, the transition is so traumatic we need professional help. Counseling can help speed up our recovery and get us back on our feet again.
But most of all, we need someone to make us feel secure. Sure, I had my husband, but I needed someone I could lean into completely.
God hadn’t been part of my life for a long time, but when I turned to him in desperation, he responded to my cry for help.
God provides a firm foundation so we don’t lose our footing when the ground shifts.
Hebrews 11:1-2 (MSG) says: “The fundamental fact of existence is that this trust in God, this faith, is the firm foundation under everything that makes life worth living. It’s our handle on what we can’t see.”
Of course, I did meet neighbors and make friends in the playground who were just like me, thousands of miles away from everything they knew. And I did discover new foods and find the British products I love. It didn’t happen overnight. Instead, it took time.
But, most of all, I renewed my faith in God.
When our world is shaky or shifting around us, we need to stand on solid rock. It’s never too late to turn to God and make him your firm friend.
Make the words of Psalm 31:2 your prayer: “Turn your ear to me, come quickly to my rescue; be my rock of refuge, a strong fortress to save me.”
Rachel Britton is a British-born writer and speaker passionate about helping women know their true worth so they can live boldly. Raised on the east coast of England, she now lives in Massachusetts with her husband and three children. Rachel cannot live without English tea and chocolate. Connect with Rachel at www.rachelbritton.com, on Facebook and Twitter @racheljbritton.
Today we are once again linking up with Holley Gerth and Jennifer Dukes Lee.
Such wise advice! Thank you for sharing the struggles that come with change (and others not always understanding) and how it all brought you closer to our wonderful Lord.
ReplyDelete