
I remember that moment, as if the thought just ran across my brain yesterday. I sat back in my chair, paused, and thought, Do I even know what it means to be a woman? I’m 32 and I’ve never been on a second date. My days don’t revolve around homemaking, meal planning, soccer practice, and homework. My wardrobe does have a fair amount of pink and purple, I love accessories, and I’m enamored with shoes, but I also have mild cerebral palsy. It impacts how I move, how I’m perceived, and it definitely means no high heels. I think all of this begs the question: What does it mean to be a woman when you are single, childless, and flat-footed? I’ve been pondering this question for a while; most intently over the past month. Here’s what I see:
No heels? Then find a signature accessory!
In heaven, I hope I’m going to have a closet of heels. I want to stare at my beautiful feet for ages, run around in them with abandon, and stand up and lead worship before God, pouring out all of my soul before the throne. But until then, I wear headbands. It started with a feather attached to a headband, and has expanded to include flowers, and gems, more feathers, and sequins. They disguise bad hair days and have been the topic of intriguing conversations more than once. I think we all have a certain unique style that just needs to be discovered and expressed.
Single? Know you are loved!
Honestly, I find singleness very challenging. I recognize that I may have more flexibility with my time than my married and parenting friends, but I’m lonelier than I’d like to be. Online dating works for some, but it is no magic pill, no sure solution. There are days where singleness seems unresolvable, bleak, and very long. It’s in these times I’ve needed to realize that married or single, I AM LOVED. We all need to realize this. God loves us like a playful child, joyfully chasing us in a game of tag. He pursues us with boundless energy and delight. God also loves us like a good friend. On our hardest days, when companionship seems so far out of reach, God takes us by the hand, lovingly looks into our eyes and says, I’m going to walk with you every step of the way.
No children of your own? Open yourself up to nurturing.
My strongest love language is touch, and while my little nephew doesn’t always want hugs and kisses, he’s never said no to a foot rub. Sometimes I run the wheels of his Lightning McQueen over and over his soles, other times I take his socks off and rub his sweet little toesies between my fingers. He usually quiets and his eyes stare off, filled with contentment. There is a wealth of love inside each one of us that we can give to others; the invitation is simply in finding the right place to invest it.

Today we are once again linking up with Holley Gerth and Jennifer Dukes Lee.
Super, Jenny - all of this was great which makes me think you have much more behind those signature headbands. I love that thought, too - find your signature piece (and heels are not all they are cracked up to be...) Single myself til 35, I've known your Saturday nights and Sunday afternoons, and telling God I'd like Him to be enough but I'm just not feeling it. thanks for sharing - next to Ruth Exp(Yea!) this morning in CA at tellhisstory (which you did beautifully)
ReplyDeleteThank you Sue for acknowledging the feeling that comes with Saturday nights and Sunday afternoons for a single lady. I'm so glad to know that God IS enough even when we don't feel it!
DeleteJenny, what lovely thoughts! It is so easy to compare ourselves to others (I can't wear those high heels any more and I miss them!), instead of rejoicing in the here and now where God has us. Thanks for a great reminder! I was your neighbor at Holly's "Coffee for Your Heart." Blessings!
ReplyDeleteBlessings to you too Donna! Thanks for reading!
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