A Note to My Adopted Children: You're Loved.

January 15, 2014

I know that this is not ideal. I know that in a perfect world all parents would be able to care for their children. That things like addiction, poverty, and death would never hinder one’s ability to care for their family members.

And in some ways I am sorry that this has not been your story. In some ways I am sorry you had to go through the process of being placed in a new family, new environment, new life. I am sorry for the transition. And the change. And the insecurities it brings. I am sorry you question things about who you are. Your value and worth. I am sorry you wonder if you really fit, are truly loved. I’m sorry there aren’t always easy answers and you question whether you are wanted. 

In many ways I am Just. Plain. Sorry.

And I can see the pain in your eyes when these things come up. Like when you ask me if I can see some blond in your brown hair like your other mommy has, trying to find commonalities with her, a connection. I see the struggle. And I wish I could take it away. Even if it meant that your other parents would have been able to care for you forever. I am sorry that they couldn’t. Even if it means you would not be here with me. I would want what would have been easiest for you.

I love you so much.

But there are also some things that I am not sorry about. I am not sorry that you are here now. I am not sorry that you are my child. I am not, ever, sorry that you came.

Because the truth is: You belong here, too. You are loved here, too. You have been and will always be wanted.

And although the beginning of your story may be rocky and you may always have questions, moving forward can be different. And I want you to know it’s important to me that you know that I appreciate your birth parents. I can see how important it is for you to have a connection with them and that makes it important to me.

I know they will always be a part of you and I am glad for that. Because I would never want you to deny who you are.

You are them.

And you are us.

Together, that is what makes you, you.

And to me, that makes you perfect. 

We're linking up again this week with Holley Gerth and her lovely Coffee for Your Heart concept, offering encouragement to others throughout the year. This week, the writing prompt was "You're Loved." For more inspiration from other authors and bloggers, head over here.

We're also linking up for the first time with Jennifer where each week she encourages others to Tell His Story. You can read more about it here


  1. Kendra, such beautiful words from the heart. My sister adopted three children. I think you summed up how she feels too. Right now she is going through a tough time with one of them, but she never has stopped loving that girl. She's never sorry she came to live as hers. I pray your children hear your words of love you have written today. May they always know your love. Jeri

    1. Jeri,
      Thank you for your kind words. Praying for your sister, knowing how hard it can be to walk these challenging roads with our kids. Bless you. Kendra

  2. Wow, this is an absolutely beautiful post! Your children are so blessed to have you for a mother. God bless you! I'm your neighbor from Holley's encouragement link up. Have a wonderful day!

    1. Thank you so much for the encouragement! I loved that you stopped by from Holley's post! Love the community it offers! Bless you today!

  3. You. Are. Amazing! Great job. Not only of raising your kids, but also of putting your thoughts into words.

    1. Thanks nancy! I think you're pretty amazing too friend :)

  4. Kendra,
    What a beautiful post. I have been praying for some time now, maybe close to a year, about becoming a foster parent. I filled out an application last June, and it is sitting in my drawer. I know this is different from adopting. I am not sure we even qualify for adoption. All I want to be able to do is help and make a difference in the lives of children. Thank you for your words.

    1. Beatriz,
      That is so awesome! My husband and I have done foster care for over five years now and that is actually how we adopted two of our children. It's always exciting to hear of others interested in caring for children through foster care. God bless you on your journey! (And let me know if I can answer any questions, I love to talk about foster care!)