Monday, May 13

I'm a Mediocre Mom.

I’m a mediocre mom. There, I said it. I feel so much better. Well, sort of. Let me explain.

In the past few weeks I’ve had other moms comment to me about how I must be so much more
patient than they are because not only do we have our own children, but often foster children as well.

I’ve heard comments such as “I would love to do foster care, but I already get so mad with my own kids,” or “Oh, you‘re just gifted to do this!” or “You’re just so loving!” And I smile and say “thanks,” not sure quite how to respond. 

Because the truth is that I don’t have a lot of patience. I have a tendency to get frustrated very easily with my kids. Sometimes I yell. I’ve been known to tell my kids to “leave me alone, mommy needs a minute.” I could never home school my children, because the half-hour of homework each night right now is enough to send me through the roof and receive a sideways glance from Kyle as he asks, “Why are you so mad?” To which I respond, “I don’t know!” 

I see moms on social media who love snow days with their kids, who plan all sorts of wonderful activities and outings, who post pictures and updates of all these amazing moments with their kids…when all I’m trying to plan is how I can somehow leave these children for a few moments to go grab a quiet cup of coffee with a friend. 

True confession: I am simply just a mediocre mom. At best. 


But this is what we do. We compare ourselves against another and think “Well, surely they have something I don’t! Surely they are more (insert wonderful attribute here) than I am! No wonder they can do (insert wonderful calling/gift/occupation here)!” 

In fact, just last week I was talking to a good friend of mine who is an amazing event organizer and planner. I have seen her pull off events that were packed to overflowing. She is level-headed, quick to handle concerns as they arise, plans ahead and yet can easily change course when needed. But as we spoke on the phone just days after her most recent (and very successful) event, she confessed, “You know, I’m really not that good at this. I just do it because I feel like it needs to be done and God is with me. I pray a lot. But I really am not naturally good at this.” 

And it made me wonder how often we excuse ourselves from doing something because we think we aren’t capable. Because we see others who are doing it well and assume they wouldn’t have had to face the same obstacles that we believe we do to achieve our goals. That somehow they naturally have the qualities needed to accomplish whatever they’re doing. And we shrug it off, dismissing our dreams, because we simply aren’t “naturally gifted” to do it.

And yet the scriptures say: 
  • I can do all this through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13 
  • But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9
  • By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. 2 Peter 1:3
In the past month I read a book titled Kisses for Katie about a young woman from Tennessee who left everything to live with and care for orphans and children in Uganda. She has also adopted 13 children as her own - all by the ripe old age of 25. Something she said in her book stuck with me:

"People from my first home say I'm brave. They tell me I'm strong. They pat me on the back and say, 'Way to go. Good job.' But the truth is, I am not really very brave; I am not really very strong; and I am not doing anything spectacular. I am simply doing what God has called me to do as a person who follows Him. He said to feed His sheep and He said to care for 'the least of these,' so that's what I'm doing, with the help of a lot people who make it possible and in the company of those who make my life worth living."
And as I’ve pondered my own insecurities I wonder, Why wouldn’t God want to use someone who didn’t quite think they were capable in themselves? Would he want someone who was completely confident in themselves, never having to rely on him as their source? Wouldn’t he want to fill in the gaps where I lack?

So. Here is my encouragement to you, to me, to us, today. What is it that God is calling you to do? What dream have you left on the shelf because you just didn’t think you were capable? What step of faith is God asking you to take, right now?

Because in all honesty, it’s okay that I’m just a mediocre mom. It's okay that I'm imperfect. As long as I remember that I can lean on God for wisdom, trust him with my dreams (including these kids he's given me), and rest in the fact I have everything I need for this life, in Christ. He will make up for any deficit, any lack, that I have.

And he will for you, too.



6 comments :

  1. I'd rather recognize I'm mediocre and that I need Christ to get through the day, than think I've got it all together!
    Great post :-)

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  2. Awesome post,Kendra! I can totally relate to what you said (especially about being mediocre.) Great encouragement.

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  3. thank you for this!

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  4. I am thinking this is just what God wanted me to read today, because I actually came to read your most recent article (which I did start with), but ended up here and this speaks to issues very relevant for my husband and I lately. I'm going to share it with him too and pin it for future re--reading! Thank you for this!

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    1. Sybil, I'm so glad you found encouragement from this post, even a year later it remains relevant to my life as well! Love how our transparency encourages one another! Love you my friend! :)

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