By Myself

Humor me for just a few minutes. The other day I got an email from my sister Kristin and in closing she stated:

“I'm feeling rather sassy myself right now - I went to Target tonight (BY MYSELF!) and bought some totally-bad-for-you-and-yet-so-good-I-hid-them-from-my-family-behind-the-mac&cheese-boxes cookies. Yep.”

To which I responded: Good for you.

And it got me thinking today about all the little things that I love to do now that I live with little people, things that I took for granted before they came.

Things like:

Going to the grocery store. What used to be a chore when my husband and I were first married, now feels like a reprieve. I love to meander up and down the aisles.Oh, I have a list, and yes I know I need nothing from the cereal aisle this week, I’m just looking. Enjoying the quiet. By myself.

Cleaning up after dinner. My husband and I used to bicker about who was going to clean up after dinner, now we banter about who will get to clean up while the other parent takes the kiddoes downstairs or outside. Anywhere but in the kitchen. Who knew clearing the table and washing dishes could be so enjoyable? All alone.

Eating lunch alone. I have a routine in my house of feeding my children lunch, putting them down for a rest and then having lunch by myself. My husband asked once why I do this instead of just eating with the kids, to which I responded,“Umm, because I want to actually enjoy my food.” By myself.

Now I recognize that these little people will not be little for too long. I know that I should enjoy them (and I do), all the sweet and funny little things about them. They are a blessing from God, truly, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. But as with everything in life, there is good and bad in each stage we find ourselves in. Things we enjoy and things we don’t.

So, in closing, I made a list of all the things I look forward to doing by myself, once these little people are not so little anymore:

Shopping at Target, having a cup of coffee, enjoying dessert, going to a movie, taking a shower, exercising, going to the bathroom, getting dressed, folding laundry, cleaning the house, watching a movie, taking a nap, going for a drive, going to bed and reading a book.

And one day as I’m sitting in my living room, coffee in hand and book on my lap, I’ll think back to this time: when life was crazy and loud, and all I wanted was to just sit down for a minute without someone touching me…and I’ll smile.

Because as hectic as it was, it was also beautiful.

And then I’ll sip my coffee, without a sound to be heard, turn back to my book and enjoy being by myself.