Wanted.

My beautiful daughter Jasmine

“Mommy, whose tummy did you come from?” Jasmine, my four-year-old, asked early one morning while lying in bed with me. It’s a common conversation in our house, babies coming from mommies’ tummies.

“Grandma Annie,” I reply.

“And Abe came from your tummy?”

“Yes.”

“Did I?”

“No, honey. Remember, you came from another mommy’s tummy.”

And then out of the quiet a question comes, one we’ve never discussed before.

“Why didn’t my other mommy want me?” she whispers.

And I pause. Unsure how to begin, but knowing that what I say next will matter. I can see my little girl's fragile heart in this moment…

“Well,” I reply, “I think your other mommy did want you, honey. But she was young and wasn’t sure she could take care of you. She loved you so much, she wanted to make sure you had a mommy and daddy that could care for you.”

And my words seem to fall a little flat, even to my own ears.

With my daughter’s eyes still on me, I sigh and whisper to her, “You have always been wanted.”

She smiles.

I tell her how her daddy and I prayed for a child, and God answered our prayer when he gave her to us. I tell her we wanted her before we even knew her, loved her before ever seeing her face. And then I hold her, wondering if my words are enough, wondering if they’ve gotten to her soul.

If she’ll ever fully know the depth of our love for her.

And this past week as I’m preparing to give a message on Sunday, never finding enough of the uninterrupted time I need with the Lord to prepare between kids, cooking, cleaning up, homework and such, God reminds me of my conversation with Jasmine.

When I stop for just a moment, I realize her question is mine as well.

“Lord, am I wanted?” my heart seems to cry out. “Am I loved? Cared for?”

And he gently reminds me that he loves me. Apart from speaking. Apart from being a mom, from cleaning, taking care of children, cooking, all of it. He wants me. Just as I am.

“God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure.” Ephesians 1:5

His words breathe life into my soul: I wanted you. In advance. Adopted. You give me great pleasure.

You are loved. 

You are wanted.

Dear Heavenly Father, I pray for every sister who has ever wondered if she were loved and wanted by you. I pray that you would speak your truths into her soul today. May she see how much she means to you, just as she is. In Jesus' name, amen.